Appartment
by Brightbless
Summary: My ghost, where'd you go? What happened to the soul that you used to be? ( The one where Jace builds a new home for him and Clary, but they are torn apart by the word 'almost' ) CLACE. ONE SHOT.


**I don't even know how I got the idea for this fanfiction, but suddenly it was just in my head and I had to write it down somewhere. Hope you like it.**

 **Based on the song 'Ghost' by Halsey.**

* * *

It hasn't even been something Jace had been planning to do for a long time; it was more like a sudden decision he made lying in his bed – alone – at 3am in the morning.

First it had been just a simple image in his head, just something he was getting used to. He let the thought wander around in his mind as if he was trying the taste of it. It was a crazy idea, he knew it, and there was absolutely no guarantee that she would even like it, but the longer he thought about it, the more that little, blurred image became something sharp and real and clear and suddenly he couldn't even imagine it ever being any different.

He didn't want to wake anyone, since they all clearly deserved a good portion of sleep after the hunt earlier that day, so he simply tiptoed barefoot to the elevator and waited impatiently, running his fingers through his hair that looked more like brown than blonde in the darkness, and walking into the elevator as soon as it arrived. He pushed the button to the last floor and cursed right after wards when the elevator started moving way too loudly in the quiet night. He pulled the barred doors of the elevator aside as he stepped through as soon as it stopped, his steps echoing so silently in the hallway that no one would have been able to hear them.

The young Shadowhunter almost gripped some Seraph Blade hanging on the walls for decoration when he felt that that dangerous creature next to his feet was nothing else than Church.

What the hell is it with this cat?, Jace thought, shaking his head. Church always seemed to know when something was going on and always – always – appeared right there.

He walked ahead, knowing that the cat would follow him. He knew exactly where he was heading and he knew exactly that he was already at the part of his idea where he wouldn't turn back and think about it again. Especially after he opened the doors to one of the probably biggest rooms in the institute, and stepped inside.

He couldn't quiet see much in the darkness, so he started feeling the wall for the light switch and as his fingers finally found it, he turned the light on. The lights were dimmed and only shining weak since the room hasn't been used by anyone for what he assumed must have been years. It was, as said, one of the biggest rooms in the institute, if not actually the biggest. It was way too big to be used by a single person and no one lived there with someone else because it had neither a kitchen, yet a bathroom, and so you'd still be forced to get out of the room and most people living together wanted to be able to spend days not leaving their room.

Jace walked further into the room that was almost empty. It only had one giant, empty bed and some very old cabinets that were literally too old to be used. Powder in the air, dancing in the light.

It also had three big windows and a beautiful balcony with a breathtaking view over New York City and even Simon could have climbed from the balcony to the greenhouse just above the room.

It was perfect; it could be perfect for them. The image that he had in his mind started coming to life as he imagined how Clary's paintbrushes and paintings and sketchbooks would be lying all over the room, some of his weapons hanging on the walls, photos of them that she'd have taken and hung on the wall surrounding one as he stood in the middle of their room, her clothes carelessly thrown around and books filling the shelves next to the piano so he could play whenever she wanted him to. He could see it all in front of his eyes.

Yes it was too small to include a bathroom and a kitchen, but what if they combined the room with the one next to it? It was smaller than this one, but it had a comfortable, little bath and they could easily build a kitchen in there without having to worry about too little space. If they combined the two rooms …

Clary and Jace hadn't really talked much about moving together but she sometimes stayed over for days and so did he when Luke and Jocelyn weren't there. They always left some things in the other's rooms; Jace sometimes left his sweaters or shirts because he knew she loved wearing them, or he left some weapons or books there because he could simply get them next time or because he loved seeing his things in her room. And she'd leave sketchbooks in his room, sketchbooks he would go over all night, his heart always skipping several beats when he came to a drawing of himself, seeing him the way she must see him. And although he'd never admit it; seeing her drawing him made him feel so happy and so proud at the same time.

Legally, they could move together anytime they wanted, now that they were already 19. But he didn't want to do anything too fast; they could take their time. She could first only stay a few days over and they could both get used to living like this forever – not that there was anything to get used to. Jace even would have wanted to live with her immediately back when they were only 16.

He could build this apartment for her while she was in Idris with her parents – it has been something private with Luke and even though no one would have minded Jace being there too, the Clave didn't want anyone unnecessary there, so he had to stay home while Clary would be in Idris for almost a month.

A month. It seemed like too long because he'd – of course – be missing her but doing all this in a month? He's surely need some help, but it didn't seem impossible. Nothing ever seemed impossible with her.

Jace sighed and sat down on the bed, the mattress shifting at his weight. He had no clue how he suddenly got the idea, but now this all seemed so perfect. He rested his hands in his laps, looking back at the bed, imagining how they'd both be waking up in this room in the morning, every morning, his face always full of red locks when he first would open his eyes.

* * *

"Dude, what the hell?", Alec called from across the room.

"What?", Jace mumbled in response, not even looking in the direction of his parabatai as he searched in one of his drawers for his stele.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING FOR IN A DRAWER FULL OF YOUR UNDERWEAR?"

Jace sighed, trying to hold back a laugh as he finally found his stele, turned around and threw the little thing in his hand at Alec, him catching it immediately.

Then he immediately dropped it and stepped back, a look on his face that just screamed "EW" in terror.

"You keep your Stele in your drawer full of underwear? Jace – Jace – why ?"

Jace now fully laughed, his shoulders shaking and his head falling back in his neck. "What? It accidentally slipped in there and I forgot it? Doesn't this ever happen to you?"

"No, man, what the hell." Alec shacked his head. "Alright, I'm heading to Magnus'. Tell Clary that I missed her like hell and am going to see her tomorrow, when you two… had your… reunion."

"I bet she wouldn't mind if you only visited us the day after tomorrow – you know – it's gonna be a long … reunion." Jace winked at Alec who rolled his eyes, mumbling something that very much sounded like "gross", before he turned around picking his bag pack up and waving a hand for Jace to follow him as he exited the room, leaving the door open for Jace, but even after he picked up his stele again he still stood in their room, looking around it and taking every single inch of them there in. It was just as he imagined it, her drawing and photos of them covering the walls, the two rooms combined into one giant loft with kitchen and bathroom. His things were already lying there, just waiting for hers to complete the scenery. Just waiting for her to finally stand in the middle of all this, to finally have her there. He did this for her; for them; and he couldn't wait to see her reaction.

He let his gaze go around the loft again, suddenly feeling a uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. What if she didn't like it? What if it wasn't good enough for her? What if she realized how much better she could be off with someone else, what if –

He shook his head, his hands pushing some strands of his hair away as he followed Alec out of the room, ready to pick up his girlfriend at her house. He knew she would arrive any minute and every inch of his body was burning to have her there again, to finally wrap his arms around her and lift her small, tiny body off the ground, kissing her till her lips were swollen. Those weeks without her had been pure torture. Not being able to run his hands through her hair or see the way her cheeks would blush, taking the same color as her hair. Being able to hold her little, artistic hands in his and fall asleep with his arms around her, waking up with her green eyes looking up at him. He missed talking to her, laughing with her, seeing her.

He closed the door behind himself, turning around, only to see Alec staring at something behind him. Suddenly Alec's face broke into such a wide grin he thought it would explode.

"Alec?"

"See you tomorrow", he waved his hand and quickly walked away, his grin still wide on his face.

Confused Jace turned around, looking at the thing that Alec had been staring at, before the 'thing' jumped in his arms, too fast for him to realize that it was _her._

 _Clary._

Her arms were wrapped around his neck, her legs wrapped around his waist, and before he knew it, he was pulling her body closer to his, her red locks covering his sight but in that moment he thought he never saw anything more beautiful. Thousands of emotions went through him like shivers, finally she was there, finally she was back. He let her scent sink in, the scent of paint and flowers and soap as he buried his face in her neck, hearing the cutest sound escaping her mouth as he pushed her against a wall.

"Clary", he whispered, again and again, and even though he didn't see her face, he knew she was smiling in his hair.

She slightly pulled back, just enough so they'd be able to look at each other properly. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes shining and her hair slightly tousled, those pink lips of hers parted. He took her in completely, every single one of her freckles, every shade of green there was in her eyes, every feature of her he'd missed so badly.

"Jace", was all it took her to say before his mouth was on hers, his lips first softly against hers, slowly tasting her, licking her bottom lip, begging for entrance as she opened her mouth letting him in. His mind was empty and full of a million things at the same time, his hands holding her upright against the wall, her legs only pushing him closer.

"I – I, Jace – ", she breathed against his mouth.

"Mhm?" Was all he managed to say.

"I – I've missed you, Jace", she spoke against his lips and he started kissing her cheek, her nose, her jaw, everything he could reach.

"I've missed you too." He pulled back to look at her, seeing everything he felt reflecting in her eyes. "I thought you'd only come later today?"

It was a stupid think to ask, Jace knew that, but it was something he said because it was just swirling around in his mind and the words were leaving his tongue before he even knew it.

She shrugged. "I thought I'd surprise you?" She laughed and he felt his heart beat even faster.

He leaned in to kiss her, but she suddenly reached out with her hand to cover his mouth so that he was basically kissing the inside of her hand. "Hold on you horny teenanger, we should probably get into your room."

He saw her eyes wandering over his body in a teasing way, before he replied, with the same tease in his voice as in hers, "See you think there is need to get a room?"

"Jace."

"Yes?"

She rolled her eyes and he started to kiss her wrist, up to her elbow, and then to her shoulder, his kisses light like a feather on her skin. "So there is need to get a room? Because you can't wait to rip my clothes off me?"

He chuckled, his voice sounding deeper in his mind than usually, and looked up at Clary from his spot where he was now – his mouth inches away from her neck – , her eyes were closed and her chest rising and falling with the deep breaths she took. She opened her eyes and looked down at him, her reddish lashes throwing shadows on her face, her pupils big and her hair falling to one side of her shoulder. She looked beautiful; like she always did; like art that could stare at for hours and still not having enough. She wasn't a quick sketch you quickly look at and forget after wards. She was a giant painting that took you hours, days, a whole life time to study and understand all the colors playing along, all the emotions and hidden feelings and fears and hopes and broken dreams hidden behind the paint.

"You wish, Herondale." She steadied herself on her feet again and took his hand. "But for real now, let's go. Besides, it was you who was talking about a long reunion." She winked at him.

"So you heard that?"

"Mhm." She smiled wider, peaking him on the cheek.

She was about to take a step towards the old elevator, but he held her back. She turned to face him, her eyebrows both risen – since she shouldn't only rise a single one ( which was something he loved to remind her of ).

"I – I just have to show you something before."

He was suddenly not so sure of himself anymore, not so sure that she would like it, not so sure that she didn't realize how much better she deserved. Jace stepped from one foot to another, running a hand through his hair.

"Jace? What do you want to show me?"  
He looked down at her, her wide, curious eyes and he saw so much appreciation in them, so much love, so much caring that it all wrapped around his heart like a thick, warm blanket.

He stepped closer, taking both her small hands in his. "Say it."

"Say wha – " she started, but she must have seen the doubt and fear in his expression, that she quickly understood. "You already know it, Jace."

A small smile spread across his face as he pulled her closer and closed his eyes, bending down to lean his forehead on hers. Of course he knew. It was a truth he loved to hold on to when he felt the ground slipping away from him or his world breaking down, it was the only truth he could hold on, lean on. Her voice was so quiet and soft, yet so powerful that he physically felt its touch."I love you."

He let out a breath he was holding and opened his eyes, kissing her again, his lips saying the words he didn't need to speak, before he pulled back, and without any hesitation lead her to their new room, opening the door and stepping away to let her in.

The look on her face washed away every doubt he ever had. She gasped, her eyes unbelieving wandering over the whole giant room, the kitchen and the obvious bathroom door, to the balcony, the shelves of books, to the giant bed and the art supplies he had bought for her, the photos of them hanging on the walls, and finally, after what felt like forever, back to him.

Her expression was completely neutral, like she was looking at a blank space, before her face suddenly broke into a smile, her eyes shining brighter than he had ever seen them. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling hmr down, and he thought that maybe he heard her sob. He smiled, too, hugging her closer.

"Oh my god, Jace, did you – did you do this?"

"I should probably admit I had a lot of help from Simon and Alec and Magnus – and eventually, Izzy, believe it or not, she picked the kitchen. Which means it must be a good kitchen that can endure a lot if Izzy assumed it can endure her cooking, too, but we are definitely not letting her cook anything – or bake – I mean our kitchen would – "

"Jace", Clary laughed, sensing his nervousness. Jace always talked too much when he was nervous, and Clary knew that better than anyone else since no one made him as nervous as she did.

"Jace this is" - she pulled away - "This is, I just, I don't even know what to say, I just..." She blinked at him, her eyes filling with tears of happiness. He wiped them away.

"Thank you. God, thank you so much."

Jace leaned down again, his lips brushing her forehead. "You like it?"

"Of course! I love it. It is ...", she trailed off and looked up at him. She knew he knew what she was about to say, because he felt it too.

He finished the sentence for her.

"It is home."

* * *

Jace felt his dreams slowly leaving his mind, the sleep vanishing as he opened his eyes to the flames of red hair and the green eyes staring at him. A smile spread across her face.

Jace took in a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping she would simply disappear, hoping she would just leave his mind like she did all the time.

And when he opened his eyes, she was gone.

He buried his head in his pillow, trying to breath in her scent but there was nothing. He tried to remember her voice even though there was only an echo left. But those big green eyes, full of dreams and hopes, gods those eyes who had been looking at him like he was everything she wished for only seconds ago, those eyes had burned themselves in his memory.

Eyes that didn't see half of what they should have seen.

He sat up, his eyes lazily wandering around the apartment, the apartment that should have been theirs from the beginning on, the apartment that looked like a body without a soul without her being there.

Or maybe he was the body, and she was the soul, and now that she was gone he was only a skeleton, made of broken dreams and hopes.

And Sadness, so much sadness.

Every night he woke up from almost the same dream. The dream that she came back, that she saw the apartment, their new home, the home he made for them. The dream that he would be able to live with her for the rest of his life, wake up next to her and fall asleep.

The Reality was so much more cruel and violent.

Because she would never be able to do anything again. After everything they went through, after all the battles they fought, after all the sacrifices they had to make, a sudden attack from too many demons on her way back to him was what brought it all an end.

Jace closed his eyes.

That was all he would ever have.

An Apartment made for a ghost – a broken promise.

"I'm sorry."

 _I'm sorry._

 _I miss you._

 _I love you._

 _I wish you were alive, Clary._

* * *

 **How much do you hate me guys?**

 **Review if you like and thanks for reading!**

 **~ Brightbless**


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